Sexual Futurist.com ? IIlluminating the world through reason ...

Let?s Be Friends, Here & Now

May 22, 2012

This sexual futurist?s day job (nights too often enough) is counseling men and women who have been convicted of sexual criminality.? The vast majority of these individuals are pretty much like us although we want to think of them as monsters.? They did not want to become sex offenders when they grew up.? Most have no prior criminal history whatsoever.? Most are not sexually deviant.? If they have any commonality whatsoever, it is that they could each be described as having profound intimacy skill deficits.? As a group they find it hard to initiate social interaction, engage in small talk comfortably and maintain and honor boundaries.? There?s a huge body of knowledge about finding love that they simply never got growing up?just like the rest of us.? They are, in the end, pitiable.

How strange to think that millions of us (gay and straight, young and old, religious or not) get into monogamous, sexually committed relationships without ever discussing sexuality with the other person.? It?s a bit like getting into a business relationship without ever talking about money, getting the financial background of your partner, learning what their financial goals are and so on.? We don?t find out who the other person is nor do we reveal who we are?even if we, say, ?try out the merchandise.?? Having sex prior to getting into a sexually committed relationship actually tells us very little about how the most intimate part of our shared life would be like over a lifetime.

The remedy?? Easy, find a place where and a group of people with whom you can comfortably be yourself?sexually.? The catch?? Most of us never find that place or those people.? This is that place.? Together, we are those people.? Together we can engage in asking forbidden questions, bring up forbidden topics, simply be ourselves and think and talk about our thoughts openly.? Those members of the Sexual Futurist Community who recently contacted me to become ?friends? on FB need to know how honored I am by your reaching out.? But this site and our FB site are where I really live.? It is a magical place where people from all over the world can find an accepting and thoughtful community where both our common ground and our differences are just so interesting.? Human sexuality in all its beauty and all its confusion, wow!? Ask your questions, make your comments and then, come, reason with us.

Tags: being friends, human sexual rights, human sexuality, sex and relationships, sex crimes, sex offenders, sexual criminality, sexual futurist community, sexual victims, talking about sex

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